


R.I.P TO MY YOUTH. [markhyuck]

by nctisgay



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst and Humor, Bittersweet, Don't Try This At Home, Drug Addiction, Drug Use, Drug Withdrawal, Friends With Benefits, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Illegal Activities, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan is a Little Shit, M/M, Robbery, Shameless Smut, do not read if drugs are a trigger, drug buddies turn to drug lovers, enjoy, fuck buddies, funny but sad, getting high and falling in love, getting high on the beach, mark lee - Freeform, markhyuck are problematic, smut at times, until they fall in love, you get me so high
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-29
Updated: 2020-03-31
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:48:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,993
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22218070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nctisgay/pseuds/nctisgay
Summary: Donghyuck hangs out in the graveyard. And Mark is on his way to rob a grave.
Relationships: Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten/Suh Youngho | Johnny, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee
Comments: 14
Kudos: 118





	1. 1: you make me so mad

_"The dude died in 1814, I think he's chill with me sitting here."_

Mark Lee blinked once then twice precisely before a wave of annoyance overcame every bone in his body. The shovel in his hands shook with overwhelming frustration. Maybe he _should_ have listened to his friend and taken the two pills he was offered before going out. It would have helped him.

 _Withdrawal symptoms crawled under his skin, everywhere._ They made his mouth dry, his muscles weak, his whole body shaking with agitation.

On the gravestone adjacent to the drug addict sat a stubborn soul. Eyebrows raised, white lollipop stick peaking out between his plump lips. The carelessness scribed on the boy's face settled in Mark's mind as a hint that this was going to be _way_ harder than it should be.

"I need you to move, please," Mark muttered with a forced kindness.

 _Pat pat,_ the boy perched on top of the dead man's tomb patted the stone below him.

"Oh sorry, is this your grandpa? Little old to be your grandpa, don't you think...?"

Mark breathed in sharply, holding his breath in his lungs for a moment longer than he should have. _Maybe it would kill him one day if he held it long enough._

"I just need you to move."

"Why?"

Mark tightened the shovel in his grip till his knuckles went white, watching the grinning boy get more and more comfortable on the old stone. The lollipop clicked against the guy's teeth as he shifted it from cheek to cheek, and Mark _hated_ that sound.

"I work here," Mark spat harshly.

The boy dragged his eyes from Mark's toes to his head, cocking his head slightly in disbelief. Mark swallowed, his palms beginning to sweat with the nervousness that came over him.

"And that means something to me...?" the boy narrowed his eyes in reply, pulling the lollipop from his mouth.

"It means _move_ before I call the cops," Mark growled, his irritation almost pushing him over the edge as he took a step towards the boy, shovel clenched.

The said boy, one not-so-innocent Lee Donghyuck, puffed out his cheeks.

"Jeez, alright. Don't gotta be rude," he grumbled, sticking his tongue out at Mark before sliding off the headstone.

New Heroes Cemetery was a place _nobody_ went anymore. Maybe it was the rats that squealed and lived in the holes of the crumbling gravestones. Or the fact that all the dead people here once breathed back in the 1800s and nobody has been buried here since then.

Donghyuck took advantage of the fact that nobody ever set foot near this _shit_ _hole_ and made it his own place just like that. Hey, it was quiet, peaceful, and isolated.

An environment built for a boy who wanted almost _nothing_ to do with other human beings. And he didn't have to deal with the dead ones. He even memorized all the headstones while he was at it, sometimes chatting with some of them when he got _really_ bored.

But, other than the occasional rat or bird, he's seen no other living thing tromp through the gravel walkways. _Except for tonight. So... what the fuck?_

"Wait a second," Donghyuck halted his movements.

It was sort of hard to see the man in the dim lighting given off by a singular lantern just at the gate, but Donghyuck found the stranger's face and stared at it.

Mark, however, was thankful for the darkness because it masked the anxiety in his eyes.

"What do you even do here?"

"I clean up."

Donghyuck let out a little scoff.

"All of these graves are overgrown, look at poor Harry Park covered in moss. You're a bad liar, _sir_."

Mark's hands shook.

 _Grave robbing_ wasn't something he just woke up one day and decided to do. He didn't look at a shovel and thought it'd be a great idea to dig into some ancient man's grave for the pure fun and enjoyment it would bring. 

Just like _drugs_ also weren't something Mark had been using to keep his brain and body feeling something other than the decay of the harsh world his _whole_ life. But, that was a completely different onset of shitty events.

Let's just say cocaine wasn't cheap, and he couldn't afford to go to jail. So, he thought, who even went grave robbing anymore? _Exactly._

"Move _now,_ please," Mark's voice shook, his mouth even drier than before.

"What on earth is wrong with y-"

Donghyuck barley ducked when the end of the rusty shovel was coming at his head, striking him in the temple with a harsh _clang._

The boy screamed and scrambled back, holding his now-bleeding forehead, sporadic eyes wide as his fight or flight instincts were activated. But of course, he froze instead.

Mark dropped the shovel, horrified, taking a step back as Donghyuck winced and held his head.

"I'm so sorry-"

"WHAT THE FUCK?!"

Tears came to Donghyuck's eyes, his legs shaky though he stood his ground in the graveyard he's called his second home for years.

"I'm calling the _fucking_ police-"

"NO!"

The man lunged for him, and Donghyuck cursed his toothpick legs for not moving away fast enough. His backpack slipped off his shoulder and spilled all over the gravel as he did his best to shove the boy off of him.

He was pinned to the gravel, the rocks digging into his spine as this maniac was on top of him, holding him down. Though the man wasn't exactly hurting Donghyuck, the smaller boy still was pulling, pushing, screaming, and kicking.

Until everything suddenly stopped, and the man tore himself off of Donghyuck. He watched the stranger drop to the gravel in a hurry.

Donghyuck scrambled backward, watching in horror and confusion for a second as his attacker rummaged through _his_ spilled bag.

His heart stopped when Mark pulled out a bag, half full with white flakes of powder. Cocaine.

 _His_ cocaine.

"I _fucking_ knew it," Mark growled, almost like an animal, ripping the bag open like it was vital to his existence.

Forgetting about his bleeding head, which was at the fault of this stranger, Donghyuck scrambled forward.

"That's mine! I paid lots for it! Put it down," Donghyuck yelled, trying to grab the bag but the man yanked away.

Coke got Donghyuck through more than he liked to admit, and it could have been mentioned before, but he wasn't something he was exactly proud of. Of _course_ , he just _had_ to run into another addict.

With the remaining strength he had, he tackled the guy onto his back, literally sitting on him, reaching for the bag the man held above himself.

"You don't understand, I _need_ it-"

"It's mine you fucking dick!"

Donghyuck was shoved off easily, landing hard and painfully against the small rocks. He winced as he looked up, seeing the guy yards away from him now using _his_ drugs to do a line on his forearm.

Donghyuck groaned loudly, frustrated and annoyed that this _of all things_ had to be happening to him right now.

"Listen, at least take me to a fucking hospital if you're going to snort all my coke. My head is bleeding and it's your fault."

It was silent.

"They'll drug test us. I can't go to jail."

Donghyuck clenched his teeth, blinking in disbelief at the starry sky that this conversation was happening right now with a man that just attacked him with a shovel and is now sniffing all his drugs.

Completely hopeless, he stood up, crawling over to the boy who flinched.

"Relax. At least share _my_ drugs and maybe I won't call the police."

He glared through the dark, finding Mark Lee's wide-eyed face a few feet away, wiping the powder off the tip of his nose.

The bag was shakily held out to Donghyuck, who snatched it back, closing it and shoving it away before resting his back against a headstone, exhausted.

Things were at an odd standstill, the warm night silent and dark other than the occasional cricket chirps and the glow of the burning-out lamp.

Once Donghyuck felt the pain and buzzing in his head dim down for a few seconds, he decided to attempt to get on his feet.

"This was fun, but I'm going home," he grumbled, reaching down painfully to grab his bag and it's spilled contents.

He gasped when the stranger knocked his things out of his hands, again. _You've got to be fucking kidding._

"Come on! I just want to go h-"

"You can't go. You'll report me."

Donghyuck whipped angrily towards the nervous boy on the ground.

"I wasn't going to but now I just might-"

"What are you gonna say? This man stole _my_ coke?"

"Yeah, and hit me with a fucking shovel."

Mark glared, his muscle aches, clammy skin, and shaky voice now satisfied enough so he could hide it. He thought hard about this, chewing on his bitten-raw bottom lip. Donghyuck shifted on his feet, arms crossed over his chest, teary-eyed and ready to go home.

But, for whatever reason, he didn't just yet.

"I'll tell you what," Mark got to his feet as he talked, "I'll take you to get your head stitched."

Donghyuck swallowed shakily before nodding.

"Fine."

 _Nothing could get worse_ , he thought to himself, fastening his backpack over his shoulders before his wrist was grabbed. He looked up at the boy, who was now inches from his face.

Donghyuck could see the man's features now. Handsome, nervous round eyes laced with black bags stared at him, pale skin, and prominent cheekbones.

"Don't run away and I won't turn you in either."

Donghyuck heard the slight shake accommodating the other's voice. It didn't take a fellow drug user to figure out that this kid was going through withdrawal. But it _did_ take a fellow drug user to sympathize slightly with it.

So, he said, _"Okay."_

He grip on his wrist became lighter, like a wave of trust passed between the two boys who were alone in an abandoned graveyard, having just fought each other. A thin breeze passed over the desolated area, making Donghyuck shiver and whine as the cold air flooded against his open wound.

They marched across the gravel and out the graveyard the same way they both got in, making a turn down the street flooded with darkness and flickering street lamps.

Donghyuck found his own situation odd, being lead away by a boy that attacked him with a shovel in the middle of the night. But, it's not the worst thing he's ever done. And it's not like he had a reason to flock home and go to sleep. So, with his impulsive nature, _why the hell not_?

"I didn't catch your name," Donghyuck mumbled as he trailed behind the boy who barely glanced back.

"Oh, I'm Mark. Lee. You?"

Fucking _Mark_ , this kid was part American or something. That explained _a lot_.

"Lee Donghyuck. Call me Hyuck."

"What were you doing in the graveyard."

Donghyuck scoffed lightly.

"Oh, you're asking me?"

Silence fell over the both of them, leaving the air between them awkward as they advanced blindly down the dimly lit street.

"My friend Johnny, he's good at medical stuff. He'll help you."

"Right. Johnny. Doesn't sound shady at all."

"You're right, it doesn't. Wait till you meet him."

Donghyuck furrowed his eyebrows in frustration and pouted all the way through the dark town with his bleeding forehead and now-dirty backpack.

He sparked up, however, when he was lead to the porch of a small house.

"John, open up bro. It's me. Someone's with me."

Donghyuck fell back on his heels, tilting his head back to look impatiently at the sky.

"It's unlocked!"

Donghyuck parted his lips as soon as he was tugged inside the house that smelled of weed and smoke. His eyes barely adjusted to the smokey atmosphere and fixed on a man.

"Whoa, who are you?"

Donghyuck deadpanned at the new voice, eyes wavering to the man with jet black hair.

"I-I'm uh, Donghyuck. Your friend hit me with a shovel."

Donghyuck watched a slight smirk curl up on Johnny's lips, the tall boy's eyes moving from him to Mark who was standing feet away with his arms crossed.

"Mark, really?"

"It was an accident."

"Right," Johnny looked Donghyuck up and down, "Follow me."

The injured boy glanced over at Mark who looked like he was about to walk away.

"Hell no, you're coming. You caused this, _Mark Lee_."

"Ooh, he got you, bro. The full name, the sass, I like this kid already."

Donghyuck held back a smirk of his own as Mark turned around, a glare lining his brown eyes before dragging his feet to follow the other two boys. The house was small but cozy, dull pop music resonating from some room. He slowly began questioning his choice of coming here, but then the tall man spoke.

"You smoke, Donghyuck?" Johnny asked the younger boy, who was taking in his surroundings.

Donghyuck bit his lip as he was lead into a bathroom, leaning against the counter as Johnny ducked below the sink.

"Yeah, I do."

His eyes shifted to Mark who was standing in the doorway, arms crossed with a blunt between his fingers. _When did he make that?_

"Let him have a hit, Mark."

The said boy hesitated, taking one more long hit before passing it to Donghyuck who took it between his fingers and immediately raised it to his lips.

He breathed in slowly, letting the drug fill up to the brims of his lungs, keeping it there to simmer until the last second, before exhaling. He blinked a few times, a little dazed. He hadn't smoked weed in a little while.

"You good there?" Johnny chuckled, fingers curling under Donghyuck's chin to focus his head forward.

The boy nodded, gripping the edges of the counter as he stared at the handsome boy's face that was now directly in front of his own, who was inspecting his injured forehead. Donghyuck handed the blunt back to Mark blindly, feeling a hand brush against his as the drug was taken back.

"This your house?" Donghyuck questioned, hissing slightly when a wet rag was pressed to his wound.

"Yeah, Mark and I live here. My boyfriend sometimes stays over, too."

Donghyuck raised his eyebrows, disturbing the taller man from his work as he gave him a lazy smirk.

"What? Didn't take me as a homo?" Johnny teased, making Donghyuck bite his tongue.

"I mean, it wasn't my first thought-"

"Why? Are you homophobic or something?" 

Donghyuck's mouth fell open, trying to find his words in a sudden panic.

"No no god, no. I literally, I-I'm literally attracted to men too-"

"I'm just kidding, kid. Calm yourself."

Donghyuck caught his breath, letting out an exhausted sigh as he let a pout fall over his lips.

"You're a dick."

The man just laughed in response, the sound so deep in his chest it might have been one of the most real laughs he's ever heard. It was oddly comforting.

"Mark Lee why would you attack a cutie like this? That's not how I taught you to appeal to babes."

Donghyuck moved his eyes over to the door, seeing Mark leaning lazily against the wall, hair ruffled and pushed back off his forehead, eyes low from the blunt smoke with sleeves rolled up to the elbows. Wait, when the fuck did he start looking that _fucking good_?

Mark caught his gaze and the other boy almost collapsed. He suddenly felt his mouth wasn't dry enough, and needed to be higher.

"Yo," Donghyuck snapped his fingers, reaching out for the blunt now between the boy's lips.

"What do you say?" Mark mumbled, whilst smoke escaped his lips.

Donghyuck felt his heart skip one, no seven beats as he drank Mark in with his eyes like he was some erotic painting. 

"Uh, g-give me the blunt?"

Johnny burst out laughing, starling Donghyuck completely and making him jump. He was hardly even noticing the tall man putting a final wrapping on his forehead.

Mark rolled his eyes, "I was looking for a _please_ , but whatever," he grumbled, passing the drug to Donghyuck who almost _fucking_ dropped it.

It was like Mark was a _completely_ different person when he was high. There was no nervous panic in his eyes or a shake in his figure. He was just calmer. And for some reason thirty times more attractive, but that part might just be Donghyuck.

He frantically took a hit, blowing the smoke down so it didn't hit Johnny in the face. When he looked back up, Mark was watching him. _Oh._

"You're all good kid," Johnny hummed, patting Donghyuck on the arm before stepping back.

"T-Thank you, hyung."

"Anytime."

The taller took the blunt from Donghyuck's fingers, taking a quick hit before handing it back and walking out of the smokey bathroom.

Donghyuck watched Johnny exit before taking more of the drug, holding it out for Mark to take back.

"Finish it," the other mumbled.

Donghyuck gulped before nodding slowly, continuing to take another hit under Mark's gaze. Should he thank him?

"I'm really sorry, about hitting you. I'm not a great guy when I'm that sober."

How ironic that must have sounded to any non-drug or alcohol abuser. In Donghyuck and Mark's heads however, it made all the sense in the world.

He blew smoke out, "It's alright. It happens."

Mark nodded, still lingering by the door. Donghyuck felt like his feet were glued to the floor at this point.

"Stay. For a little. I'll make it up to you. That cool?"

Donghyuck was now for sure he forgot how to breathe, either that or the bathroom was just too smokey. 

"Yeah, okay."

But one things for sure, Donghyuck is almost _never_ this easy. Sober, or high.


	2. 2: you get me so high

Donghyuck didn't know exactly how much time had passed before Mark's hot tongue was down his throat, tracing his mouth like he's done it a thousand times before.

He didn't know exactly how many more blunts he shared with Mark, or when Johnny brought out the Molly. Or when he brought the coke back out of his backpack to do lines on the coffee table.

His mind felt like a big melty marshmallow, his vision hazed over with the smokey atmosphere and fuzzy figures of light. The hands on his hips and the body he was straddling between his thighs felt so hot yet so cold at the same time.

On Cloud nine, over the moon and stars, as it was, a wonderful sensation spread over his torso when fingers of fire traced his spine, leaving ablaze in their wake.

He could feel everything in the universe, but nothing at the same time as if his mind was injected with numbness. The lips of dancing fireflies and cold icicles fell off of his, leaving them alone.

"I really like your face..." Donghyuck rambled immediately, feeling that his mouth moving but in slow motion.

His hand was on Mark's cheek all of a sudden, his half-lidded eyes staring directly into the other boy's. Holy shit, Donghyuck could barely even keep his eyes open right now. He felt so heavy, yet so light.

Mark gave him a lazy grin, and _oh_ , the way they were both _complete_ goners, both absorbed in the euphoria.

Was it possible to fall in love with someone right now?

"You're... you are so _fucking_ pretty. Even fucking _gorgeous_. And hot, _really_ hot..." the older barely mumbled, voice gruff and low.

Mark squeezed his hips so tight, and Donghyuck let out a small gasp slip.

"Okay, guys. I know you both are gone but can you tone down the sexual remarks? I'm trying to watch my show..."

Donghyuck bit his lip to hold back his helpless giggles, only exploding into laughter when Mark let out a chuckle. It wasn't funny, but it was, according to the "height" at which they were both at.

"John, bro, I know you're so baked you can't even see the television..." Mark spoke in full English, pointing at the oldest who was grinning stupidly now.

Donghyuck gasped in surprise again, gripping onto Mark's shirt, swaying slightly with the sudden quick movement.

"Holy shit... you speak English?"

"Mm. I'm from Canada, baby. I told you."

"Canada... Oh, Canada," Donghyuck giggled, leaning forward slightly to look into Mark's eyes again.

He swore, somewhere, he saw a gold shimmer in the deep brown. Mark trailed his hands up Donghyuck's sides, the younger helplessly pressing himself into the touches like some cat.

"How's your forehead, hm?"

"I-It's... I can't feel it anymore. It's good."

"That's good to hear."

Mark was suddenly kissing him again, soft, fierce, passionate lips against his. His bottom lip was soon being held captive between Mark's teeth, making him squirm.

Donghyuck wasn't even on this planet, unable to process anything but barely this moment. The only words he could feel were; hot, heavy, lustful, cold, floating, calm, warm. He couldn't recall what happened a couple of hours ago in the graveyard with the shovel and that man, who was somehow a completely different man than the one he was kissing right now.

How he got to be sitting on Mark's lap, lips locked and high out of this universe also remained a mystery in the haze.

"Where are you from, baby?"

Donghyuck blinked heavily, taking a second to process any words that were just spoken. A warm hand came up to cup his cheek, bringing him back into whatever reality he was apart of.

He couldn't remember the last time he was _this_ high if there even was a time.

"I'm from... from Seoul."

The second-hand smoke from Johnny wasn't helping his current state, nor his already altered heavy vision. He didn't know if he was too high or not, but he was starting to become hyperaware of everything. His red, dry eyes moved to Johnny, who was looking back at him with a small frown.

"Mark, I think it's too much for him."

Donghyuck pouted at those words, moving his eyes back to Mark. But, his eyes wouldn't stay open this time, so they closed for a few seconds.

"You wanna lay down, hm?"

"I'm... sleepy."

"Okay, baby. Let's lay you down."

Donghyuck wanted to nod, but he just slumped forward into Mark's chest, unwillingly but it happened. He let a lazy smile come over his lips when Mark ran his fingers so nicely through his hair. God, he was so nice.

"I don't w-wanna laydown..."

"I think you should, Hyuck. How do you feel?"

Donghyuck nuzzled up into Mark's neck, taking a deep breath in, smelling all the weed and sweat off of the other's skin.

"I feel... warm. Hey, you smell nice."

Johnny let out a snort, Mark chuckling as well, Donghyuck feeling the vibrations against his cheek. Suddenly, Mark's arms were around him and he was being pressed to the couch, the older on top of him.

And _oh_ , what a view that was. The motion alone made his head spin, his gaze now even blurrier as he stared up at the hot boy pinning his body against the squishy sofa. It took his breath away.

"Hi..." he breathed out when Mark got closer, their noses just barely touching.

"Hey, kitten."

He felt the other's hot breath against his lips, and he wanted Mark to kiss him so badly he didn't think he needed anything more than that right now.

"Kiss me," Donghyuck finally got the words out, watching a smirk crawl onto Mark's face.

"What do you say?"

The younger pouted as a response, eyes still locked with Mark's intimidating gaze as he felt a hand trail up his side, making him shiver. He was going crazy.

"P-Please?"

"Good boy."

He practically moaned when Mark _finally_ put his mouth on his own, their tongues colliding almost instantly. Donghyuck let his hands rest behind Mark's neck, his fingers curling into the boy's soft black hair as the other's tongue invaded his mouth.

And he was on Cloud 9 again, his nerves and hyperactive mindset melting into the euphoria that was now surrounding him.

"I'm hungry," Johnny complained loudly from the other side of the room, where Donghyuck couldn't see.

Mark pulled back just slightly to chuckle, lustful eyes scanning the other's face like it was his next meal.

"So am I..." said the black-haired boy, dipping his head into Donghyuck's neck and licking a long stripe up the boy's throat.

It was the first time Donghyuck had actually moaned that night, his entire body pushing up into Mark's with a soft whimper to end it. That action _alone_ stimulated Donghyuck's body so much, and left him mentally begging for more.

"You sound so pretty, kitten," Mark mumbled in a gruff voice, one that made Donghyuck's brain orgasm every time he spoke.

"You guys are disgusting. I'm going to get food, I'll bring some back if you two don't have your dicks wet by then."

The two boys hardly even heard Johnny get up and leave the room. But once that door clicked closed and the house was empty other than themselves and the dull music, Mark's lips were kissing and bruising his neck like it was vital to him.

The only thing Donghyuck could do was whimper, moan, and tug at Mark's hair with his fingers which he was _sure_ turned the other on and caused him to suck harsher on his tan skin.

"God, aren't you just gorgeous."

It had been a few minutes of licking, sucking, and biting until Mark had eventually pulled back, staring at Donghyuck like he was art on a museum wall. The artist being himself, proud and smirking.

High out of this world or not, Donghyuck could feel how tight his pants were, and he could see the same between Mark's legs. Anybody with eyes could see _that_.

So, he bit his lip. He wanted to test the waters.

"Hey, Mark?"

He wrapped his arms around the older's neck, bringing the other down so their faces were even with each other. He saw the lust in Mark's deep brown eyes, and the light coat of sweat sparking across his cheeks. He was actually really pretty, Donghyuck decided.

"Yes, kitten?"

Mark's fingers were lightly tracing around Donghyuck's neck and throat that was now vandalized with hickeys and bite marks. That action made his skin tingle with pleasure and a gasp to come up and get caught in his throat.

"I-I want to suck you off."

Mark's half-lidded eyes widened slightly at Donghyuck's sudden radical words, though Donghyuck couldn't care about how lewd he was being anymore.

"You want to suck me off, baby?"

Mark's hand slid up his shirt as he responded, tracing circles on his soft, tan stomach before up and around his collarbones. _He didn't even know this man_ , sober Donghyuck was ringing somewhere in his head. But sober Donghyuck wasn't high Donghyuck right now, therefore the words did no toll on his current hazy mentality.

So, the younger nodded, gasping slightly when Mark's cool fingers brushed over his nipples. His hips raised instinctively and brushed against Mark's, emitting a low sigh from the older.

_"Y-Yes, please."_

Not even two and a half minutes later, Donghyuck was on his knees in between Mark's hot thighs, feeling them up. Meanwhile, the older was sitting back against the couch with a freshly-rolled blunt between his lips, watching Donghyuck like a pimp as he tugged Mark's pants down his thighs to pool around his ankles.

"Look here, pretty baby," Donghyuck's head was tilted up by his jaw with delicate fingers suddenly, before the blunt was being placed between his parted lips.

He took a long drag, literally feeling the room spin around his head like he was in a cartoon. A good idea? Absolutely not. But that was his life motto at this point.

"Good boy," Mark mumbled, making Donghyuck's knees even weaker than they already were as he slowly breathed out the smoke before two fingers were sliding past his bruised lips.

He sucked on them almost instantly like they were candy, gazing at Mark with a soft, innocent look lining his eyes. The older was smirking, even while taking a hit. _Hot._

"Think you can suck my cock like that, baby?"

Donghyuck nodded eagerly, taking Mark's fingers deeper into his throat and even sliding his tongue between them. _God, yes. Yes, he could._ Never had he wanted to do something so seemingly vile more in his entire life. He never had such the urge to _please and obey_ somebody.

As soon as the fingers were removed, his hands were already working Mark's tight boxers down his thighs. He audibly gasped, mouth falling open and all as he took Mark's length in with his eyes.

"You're fucking _huge_."

"Baby-"

Donghyuck cut Mark's own words off by making him groan lowly, taking him in his hand and licking a long stripe up the underside, base to tip. _He probably looked like such a whore right now,_ even high Donghyuck knew that.

"Shit..." Mark breathed out smoke as he cursed, eyes fixated on the porn-like sight of Donghyuck dragging his tongue along his cock like it was fucking ice cream.

Donghyuck had never put so much passion into something, beating out his sober self trying to do literally anything that would benefit his future. If sucking cock would benefit his future however, he might as well be king of the whole world.

After coating Mark's cock in a thick layer of saliva, he pulled his mouth away and looked up at the boy. Mark was about to move down to give him the blunt again when Donghyuck was taking the older _fully_ into his mouth.

He held back his slight gag reflex once he was halfway, closing his eyes right and pushing himself further so his nose grazed Mark's stomach, and Mark's cock was buried completely in his throat.

"Oh, baby~"

Mark's fingers finally laced themselves in his hair, pulling and gripping and massaging. Donghyuck swallowed around him, relishing in the hot, low groan that came out of Mark's mouth. He was greedy, and he wanted _more._

He began bobbing his head, slowly at first, having to get used to how large and heavy Mark felt in his mouth. He was rewarded with hair pulls and praise.

"Baby you are _so_ good... amazing..." Mark whispered breathlessly.

Donghyuck suddenly swallowed around the boy mid bobbing his head, making Mark raise his hips to Donghyuck's mouth with another low moan. God, he _loved it._

"Where did you learn how to do this? Holy fuck..."

Mark's hand ruffled Donghyuck's hair in such a nice, loving way Donghyuck almost forgot what he was doing and choked. But, he braced himself on Mark's thighs instead, smoothing his hands over them before gripping them.

Donghyuck squeezed his own thighs together, breathing through his nose slowly as he worked his mouth up and down his gorgeous man's cock. He was completely lost in himself, in the moment. He could feel everything, every time Mark twitched in his mouth, every time Mark tugged on his hair, every time Mark groaned or praised him, every time Mark-

"Kitten... baby."

There was a particular tug on his hair that made him pull off, panting for air as he looked up at Mark's sweaty, hot blowjob face. He felt his own spit and Mark's precum slowly dripping down his chin.

"D-Did I do something?"

"No, kitten. You're crying."

Donghyuck blinked twice, and for sure, he felt the tears slowly dripping down his honey cheeks. Did he get too lost in the moment? Damnit, did he ruin it?

"Hey, baby."

Donghyuck almost whimpered at the softness in Mark's voice, and the way his hand cupped his wet cheek so lovingly. His teary eyes were met with Mark's handsome, dry, dark brown ones.

"We can stop, Hyuck."

"I-I don't wanna stop."

"Then why were you crying, love?"

Donghyuck bit his lip, feeling more tears well in his eyes behind the ones already coming down. He didn't know. He didn't fucking know.

"Y-Your cock is just fucking _huge_ ," he mumbled out.

Mark chuckled softly at that, shaking his head as he pulled Donghyuck up into his lap, like the way they were before. Except, Mark's pants were off this time.

"That's not the whole reason, I can tell. Now, what's wrong, baby boy?"

Donghyuck sniffled, reaching up to wipe his eyes and his chin, not even knowing himself why he was crying. Was he just too high?

"I-I don't know..."

Mark cupped Donghyuck's face softly, making him gulp. He suddenly didn't enjoy the soft touches. In fact, he _hated_ them. Nobody ever touched him like that, what happened to the rough ones?

"Are you gonna fuck me? Or just caress my face?"

Mark Lee frowned slightly, and Donghyuck swallowed his regret in seeing the pretty boy look hurt.

"You were just crying and you don't even know why. Maybe this isn't the best idea... right now. Okay? I don't want to hurt you."

"So you're getting all mushy on me now? Goddamnit."

Donghyuck tore himself off of Mark, grabbing the discarded, half-lit blunt from the couch and shoving it between his lips.

"Wheres the lighter."

"Donghyuck, I don't think you should-"

"Where's the _fucking_ lighter?"

Donghyuck shook as he stood there, ignoring Mark's face of surprise as he stormed around the room, finding a lighter next to where Johnny was sitting before.

He knew he shouldn't have come here. This turned too serious too quickly. He didn't want his heart broken again, and certainly not by someone like Mark. Fucking _Mark Lee._

He had trouble igniting it for a second, before turning around too quickly and stumbling into a chest.

Strong arms were around him, supporting him so he wouldn't fall on his face into the carpet. He took a sharp breath in, feeling his body shake with the action. The blunt was seconds away from falling from between his fingers, his whole body weak when tears pricked his eyes.

The blunt was taken before it could drop, and Donghyuck let out a cry of frustration. Mark held his body against his own, against his strong chest where he listened to the older's heart thump again and again.

He couldn't do this.

"L-Let me go."

"Donghyuck."

His head was tilted so he had no choice but to stare into those soft, brown eyes despite them being dry and red. Tears rushed out of his own, and he couldn't physically stop them now.

"Take a deep breath. You've got yourself so worked up. I'm not going to hurt you, okay?"

Donghyuck didn't want to take a deep breath right now, in fact, he didn't want to breathe at all. But something in Mark's smooth, low voice was like an antidote on his mind.

"There you go. See?"

A hand came up and wiped the tears his cheeks, then ruffled his hair in the way he liked it so much. His eyes started to shut slowly, but he tried his hardest to keep them open.

"This was too much, and I'm really sorry. I should have known better. Do you mind if I lay you down now?"

Donghyuck wanted _so badly_ somewhere in his mind to say _no_.

"Y-Yes."


	3. 3: you make me so weak

Donghyuck's eyelids felt like they were being weighed down my little demons when he tried to open them. However many hours later it was, he was sprawled out on a couch that smelled like weed, wrapped in a fuzzy blanket.

He felt like throwing up everywhere, nausea squeezing his stomach harshly, but he also felt like eating an entire buffet at the same time.

_Damnit, what time was it?_

He pried his eyelids open, vision still slightly fuzzy with a feathery feeling in his brain to accommodate it. The room was filled with soft sunlight flooding in from the two windows on either side of the room, so it had to be daytime.

_Fuck, that means he stayed here overnight._

He yawned softly, his throat feeling rough, pushing himself upwards so he was sitting up straight. His mouth was dryer than a fucking desert, and his eyes were scratchy and irritated.

_Fucking hell, last night._

At least he could somewhat remember it. And at least this wasn't a one night stand, and he wasn't naked in some stranger's bed. Instead, he was fully clothed on some stranger's couch. Much better if you asked him, except he had a pounding headache the urge to punch something, anything.

He let his life go, _again_. What else was new?

"Morning, kid."

Donghyuck whipped his head around, spotting the handsome Johnny man enter the room with a dorky lopsided grin.

"I brought you some water, and there's extra pizza in the kitchen. I'm sure you're either hungry or feel like throwing up."

"Both, actually," Donghyuck mumbled groggily, smiling gratefully when Johnny handed him a glass of water.

"Thank you, hyung," he thanked the older, gulping the water down like he's never had any in his entire life.

The coldness soothed his throat quite nicely on its way down his trachea. He must have been _going at it_ pretty hard last night in order for it to leave this much soreness. He mentally bullied himself about it, until a thought crossed his mind.

"Wheres... Mark?" he finally asked once he realized Johnny was still in the room, lighting a small blunt.

The older nodded towards the door, blowing smoke, "He's somewhere here, woke up a little while ago."

Donghyuck scratched his head, just finally waking up, "What time is it?"

"One-thirty."

Donghyuck's eyes widened, throwing the blanket off his body and stumbling to his feet, "Shit. Is it really?"

"Mm. You two were so gone last night I knew you wouldn't wake up for a while. Take your time, kid."

"Damnit, I'm so sorry, hyung. I didn't mean to stay this long."

Johnny scoffed, "Oh, please. You're welcomed anytime for as long as you want, Mark agrees. It's fun having a new face here."

Donghyuck sighed but regained his balance after a strong wave of dizziness passed over him. His high was almost fully worn off, but now he was feeling crucial after-effects as a punishment.

_Stupid, stupid Donghyuck. Risky and impulsive behavior at its finest._

He glanced around the room hazily, spotting his messy bag on the floor a few feet away, along with his nearly empty bag of cocaine. _Christ_. He bent down, pushing everything back inside his bag before standing up, having to blink a few times to fight the dizziness before taking his first steps towards the door.

He was _completely_ fucking out of it, and all he wanted to do was take a bath, and maybe drown himself in the process.

He followed Johnny out of the room, who was rambling something about a boyfriend, but he didn't have the mental capacity to be a fully-functioning human being right now. On top of that, he _probably_ looked like a homeless man, but again, he didn't have the mind to care at the moment.

Donghyuck followed the older through another door into a good-smelling kitchen, where to surprise, a smaller man was sitting on a stool at the small island. Johnny was quick to make introductions.

"Babe, this is Donghyuck. Donghyuck, this is my boyfriend, Chittapohn."

"Call me Ten," the other was quick to say, giving a genuine smile.

"Donghyuck is Mark's friend, he stayed over last night."

 _Yeah, Mark's friend. Sure, call it that._ Donghyuck decided to not argue against it to save his pounding headache, instead taking the pizza slice he was handed by Johnny.

"Hi Ten, nice to meet you," he mumbled politely before taking a bite, Johnny suddenly reaching out to ruffle his messy hair, probably for the better.

Donghyuck would have thought that it was odd if it were anybody else, but he felt a weird comfort when he was around the tall man, so he didn't mind it. Almost like a big brother.

"What happened to your forehead?" the man from the counter asked curiously, making Donghyuck swallow harshly before going into an explanation.

"Mark hit me with a shovel, yesterday," he said casually, pointing the end of the pizza at his head, "It's all good now though."

Ten's eyes widened dramatically before taking the blunt from between Johnny's lips, who was now standing next to his boyfriend at the island.

"Why did he-" the door to the kitchen swung open a second later before Ten could even finish.

_Speak of the devil._

Donghyuck almost choked, to say the least. Standing there, was Mark Lee himself, basking in the kitchen light with that _morning-after_ vibe to him. His black hair was curly and ruffled, cheekbones sparkling and eyes soft and brown. Just as stupidly handsome as Donghyuck saw him last night, fifty-thousand feet in the air.

"Hello, asshole."

"Good afternoon, Ten."

Donghyuck didn't question the exchange between the two, instead finishing off his cold pizza in silence, nibbling on the crust. The older made sudden eye contact with him, making Donghyuck completely freeze.

_Holy fucking shit. He was an idiot last night, wasn't he?_

"Here's some pain relief pills. It's nothing bad, I just knew you'd have a headache," Mark said, with unwavering confident eyes, reaching across the counter to lay them in front of Donghyuck.

_Oh, fuck you, Mark Lee. Fuck you for being like this, right here, right now. Why do you have to be nice to me? Why must you do that?_

Donghyuck just swallowed and nodded, trying to smile gratefully at the older as he scooped up the pills, "Thank you."

Mark only nodded, the rest of the room silent until Ten spoke up, grabbing his big boyfriend by the shirt, "I have errands to run, and you're driving me. Let's go."

Johnny loudly whined, but played along as Ten dragged him out of his chair, "It was nice meeting you, Donghyuck!"

Donghyuck waved shortly to the couple, "You too, Ten. Bye, Johnny-hyung!"

"Bye Hyuckie! See you hopefully soon!"

Johnny grinned painfully and waved, blowing a kiss before he was out the door at the mercy of Ten. That meant, indefinitely, that he was alone in the kitchen with Mark Lee. Great.

He felt his cheeks burn, so much in fact that he didn't even want to look up, "I should get going anyways..."

"You look like you need a shower," Mark said bluntly like Donghyuck hadn't just offered to finally get out of his hair.

The younger just narrowed his eyes, confused, "Are you asking me to take a shower?"

He looked up finally, seeing Mark leaned against the counter like a classic stoner. A sweet, adorable, classic stoner.

"I mean, yeah. Do you wanna use the shower here?"

 _No_ , Donghyuck thought to himself, _I don't. I really don't, because I already embarrassed myself enough and can't believe you can even look me in the eyes right now._ But, again, impulsive was his name, and being radical was his game.

"Sure, fine. Where is it?"

"I'll show you. Did you finish eating?"

Donghyuck nodded, mentally cursing himself, and Mark, for dragging him further into the depths of this hell. _Why did he do this stupid shit to himself?_

He followed Mark out of the kitchen, bringing his bag with him. The older led him down the hallway a little, before making a right into a small room. The bathroom. And, honestly, it was in pretty good shape compared to the rest of the stoner house. Better-looking than his own bathroom at home, so he couldn't complain.

"Here. Soap and shampoo are in there. Let me know if you need anything."

Before Mark turned to leave, Donghyuck seized his wrist, heart pounding wildly. The older turned to lock eyes with him, confused but also calm, with a knowing look. _Donghyuck, speak, you idiot._

"You need a shower too, you look like shit," Donghyuck blurted, eyes scanning over Mark's perfect features.

He knew _damn well_ Mark just didn't just tell him to take a shower here then plan not to be apart of it. Donghyuck was pretty stupid, but he wasn't _that_ stupid.

The older raised an eyebrow, obviously playing dumb, "What are you implying?"

Donghyuck huffed, loudly, dropping his bag to the floor abruptly before pulling his own shirt over his head.

"Just take a shower with me, dumbass."

The grin on Mark's face was so sly, Donghyuck almost slapped him across his gorgeous cheekbones.

"Never thought you'd catch on, Hyuck."

"Well, I'm not that stupid, Mark."

They undressed in silence, Donghyuck overthinking every step of the way about the fact that this was going to end up hurting him in the end. He should have just said no and left, but Mark was already turning on the shower and he knew was hopelessly stuck here.

"C'mon," Mark took his hand, guiding him in.

Being ass-naked in front of basically a stranger would have seemed much weirder if it wasn't this exact situation, Donghyuck somehow realized. The warm water hit his shoulders, making him sigh in relief as he glanced up at Mark, who was all but four inches from his nose.

The older's hand came up and cupped the back of his head, wet fingers running through his messy hair. The feeling came back to him, that calming feeling, Mark had done that last night. But it still felt really nice, and Donghyuck couldn't resist it any longer.

Mark spoke before he could, "You have cute features. And I'm not just saying that because-"

"We're naked in a shower?" Donghyuck finished for him, smiling slyly when Mark rolled his eyes.

"I was trying to be soft."

"This is _anything_ but soft, Mark Lee."

The taller pouted dramatically, making Donghyuck helplessly crack a grin.

_No, this wasn't supposed to be soft, or sweet, Donghyuck thought. But here they were._

His own hand slipped up the center of Mark's smooth chest and up the side of his neck, fingers immediately tracing those charming cheekbones. So everything about his boy was sculpted, wasn't it?

He almost quite literally got lost in the silence, and in Mark's gentle brown-eyed gaze, before the older was leaning in, lips attaching to his _forehead_.

Donghyuck almost combusted right at that moment, lips parting in surprise at the simple, but somehow insanely intimate action. He hardly felt when Mark pulled back, or when the other peeled off the bandages covering his forehead wound Donghyuck had _completely_ forgotten about.

"It's healed, a lot," Mark observed, tossing the bandages to the side of the shower, breaking the silence.

Donghyuck watched Mark's eyes trace his face, "Has it?"

Mark only nodded softly, both of the older's hands now cupping both his cheeks, eyes flooded with emotion.

"I'm so sorry..." he whispered, so soft Donghyuck had barely heard it.

But before Donghyuck could open his mouth to say it was all in the past now, Mark's lips were kissing the wound on his forehead, which he didn't feel at all. His lips then trailed down to his nose, then to his cheek, then to his jaw.

Donghyuck was completely frozen, Mark tilting his head delicately in his hands to reach new places all over his face and jawline. So smooth, so soft, so warm and wet. Everywhere, but his lips.

Mark pulled back no more than twenty seconds later, Donghyuck's heart pounding with surprise, but also _fear_ as to what he was feeling right now. God, Mark was looking at him like he was the most precious thing he's ever seen. He couldn't take it any longer.

Donghyuck leaned up without a second thought, connecting his lips with Mark's. He felt the older freeze in surprise, before the pair of lips were kissing him back just as gently, sweetly.

Mark's hands easily trailed down Donghyuck's wet torso to hold his waist, in a gentle but firm grip, so he wouldn't slip or go anywhere. And he wasn't going anywhere.

Donghyuck kissed Mark till he was breathless, pulling back only when he needed to breathe. It felt so different sober and so oddly more comforting like he could feel not nearly as much but just enough.

His eyes locked with Mark's, both of them breathing softly onto each other's lips, the bathroom beginning to steam up.

"You know, I can't do this..." Donghyuck tried to fight the feeling, hands resting around the base of the older's neck.

He wasn't going to just slip into bed with this stranger, with someone who _literally_ hurt him the first day they met. He wasn't going to get his heartbroken this time, he decided. Even if that wasn't this American boy's intention.

"When will you realize I'm not here to hurt you? I said it last night, and I'm saying it now," Mark mumbled, pushing Donghyuck's wet hair off his forehead.

"You hit me with a shovel, Mark. I know that wasn't... _you_ but, I just- I can't really make do with emotions right now..." Donghyuck struggled over his words.

He watched the gears turn in Mark's head, the older's eyes still nothing but regretful, and mellow.

"Then we don't have to make do with emotions. We can just do this freely, no strings attached if you'd like."

Donghyuck let Mark's words sink in, everything silent other than the warm running water hitting the shower floor. He wanted to look away so he could overthink things, but Mark's gaze held him there steady. He wanted it, really badly, and that scared him so much. He blinked slowly, relaxing his shoulders at last before leaning up and placing a longing peck on the other's wet lips.

"Okay, okay fine. But nothing other than getting high, and doing... that stuff. Do you hear me?"

Donghyuck felt like he was speaking to a puppy, that puppy being the cutest boy currently holding him, but also the dumbest.

"Yes, I hear you. I will abide by your rules," Mark recited like he was swearing an oath, smiling squeezing the younger's waist gently.

Donghyuck rolled his eyes playfully right as Mark's lips connected with his, and the moment rolled back into a sweet passion. Mark's lips felt so nice on his own, he had to admit, the other was a genius kisser. Especially when his tongue got involved, somehow sneaking its way into Donghyuck's mouth without him realizing.

Mark gripped his jaw, not too roughly, keeping his head in place as the older's tongue easily claimed dominance over his mouth. Donghyuck found himself liking that about Mark, how when he wanted something, he went to go get it. His soft but rough touch was just enough to get him basically wrapped around Mark's finger, wanting more and more.

Of course, he didn't miss the hand that slid down to squeeze his ass, making him whine.

"Mark Lee," Donghyuck managed to disconnect his mouth from Mark, his head still trapped in his grip.

Mark looked at him hazily, eyes clouded with loving lust, "Hm?"

"Before this goes further, I wanna actually wash my hair."

Mark grinned, finally letting go of his jaw and switching their spots so Donghyuck was standing under the warm water.

"Okay, then I will wash your hair."

"Mark-"

"Just let me."

Donghyuck huffed softly, not being able to fight back any longer when Mark tipped his head back in the water, getting the rest of his messy morning hair wet.

"Did you sleep well?" the other asked.

Donghyuck smiled slightly when Mark leaned over him to grab the shampoo bottle.

"I don't even remember sleeping, so yes."

Mark's hands were running soap through his hair in the next second, massaging his scalp. The soap smelled like flowers and cologne, it smelled like Mark. Now _he_ would smell like Mark. The thought made him crack a small smile.

Five minutes later, he was all washed and clean, out of the shower and leaning against the counter as Mark tossed him a towel. Donghyuck dried off quickly so he wouldn't get cold, wrapping the towel around his waist and peering at himself in the foggy mirror. His reflection was a perfect picture of how much of a whore he was last night, markings all up his neck, bruises on his hips and waist. _Holy shit._

"I think they're hot," Mark mumbled, startling Donghyuck slightly when he realized the older was staring him down from a few feet away.

"Easy for you to say, Mark Lee," he scoffed, running a hand through his wet hair.

"Your skin... it's so tan. Like, it's so fucking beautiful. I'm not kidding," the boy mumbled, giving him a small smile as he dried his hair.

No, Donghyuck wasn't _blushing_ , his face all of a sudden just got really red. Probably from the humidity in this bathroom. _A stupid boy crush_ , that's what this was entire situation making him feel like. He stared at Mark for a second from afar, before walking closer, taking the towel off the boy's head. He studied his figure, his hot collarbones, his broad shoulders, and biceps, with the just-right amount of muscles on them, just enough to pin him down. Hot, but cute.

He moved his eyes up. Mark's fluffy black hair, half-dried, some hanging in his eyes that only ever read ambitious concern and warmth. And those _fucking_ cheekbones, Donghyuck just wanted to bite them, as weird as that sounded. He reached down for Mark's hands, bigger than his own, and could easily fit around his waist, around his throat, or even just holding his hands.

Donghyuck glanced back up to Mark's eyes, the other giving him a curious gaze, "Find what you were looking for...?"

The younger smiled slightly, before nodding firmly, pressing a cute little kiss to Mark's wet cheek, "Yes. I did. Now, if you would please fuck me against your mattress, I would appreciate it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you're enjoying this fic so far!  
> i started writing this out of inspiration from The Neighborhood's music, specifically their two songs 'R.I.P To My Youth' and 'You Get Me So High'.  
> literal bops, go listen to them.
> 
> anyways, hope you are all staying safe, happy, and healthy! 
> 
> love you all, muah. <3
> 
> follow me on twitter for updates!: nctisgayy


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